Letting my single friends down

There was a moment last May where I felt like I was letting down my single friends. It was a moment of awakening that taught me yet again more about this season I am in.

When the news about me dating started to spread in my community people would come up to me to congratulate me and be happy with me. Word was spreading fast which is why we tried to keep the beginning of our relationship to ourselves for a few weeks.

Then there was a moment in May where I was talking with a few single girls who did not know yet that I was dating. We talked about life the last few months and then I mentioned quietly that I was dating someone and it felt like I was letting them down. It felt like I was forsaking them. This feeling was not good and I had to dig a little deeper to find out why I was feeling this way.

I felt I was letting my single friends down because…

… I had defined myself through my singleness more than I thought. Instead of it being a relationship status, it became who I was.

… I always thought everybody else would find someone before me

… I felt like I lost my voice in singleness because for the longest time I was the “single” (which I still am) who had a voice to encourage others because I had “mastered” it.

In all of this, I realized there was a lot of pride and insecurity and that is never a good state to be in. I was not letting my single friends down and I was not losing my voice nor have I mastered it. It is all about seasons and choosing to enjoy and love the season, we are in.

That is also my encouragement for you today. Celebrate the season you are in, embrace it but do not let it define you. Let it shape you and make you a better person but do not become it. Do not allow a victim whatever season you are in and do not allow pride to alter your perception.
That is why I am not letting you down because this blog is about life in general and not about our relationship states. It is about living life in abundance and to the fullest and enjoy the journey we are all on together.

Much love
Ramona