The other day I was having a conversation with a friend about the fine line between just hanging out with a friend and having a date. Can men and women really just be friends?
I personally believe that men and women can be just friends up to a certain point. The line between being friends and being more is a very thin one that many people easily overstep. I have overstepped it in the past and in most cases it leads to hearts getting broken.
The thing is that some of us have become so scared of hanging out with the opposite sex because we immediately think that having coffee with someone is a date.
Well it is not.
But it could be.
That’s kind of the the thing right. It could be just coffee but it could also be COFFEE.
Just friends?
To me personally (and I would really love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments below) the fine line between the two of them is the intention behind it.
I know, I know…. One person could have an intention and the other person doesn’t. But you won’t know that until you have that coffee (and cake I hope), right?
My point is if you get along with a person or like hanging out with them there is nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t mean you need to date them or even marry them. Just be friends. Do life together and take it light and easy.
Why don’t we just take all the complication out it and relax a little bit? We sometimes put way too much pressure on a situation and therefore on the person.
On a final note though if you are “just friends” can I encourage you with something? The line between being just friends and being more is thin and I just want you to be aware of your conversations, the things that you share and how deep you go. That will be a good indicator for you to know when you might be overstepping that line because you will start opening your heart which doesn’t have to but it my case almost always led to falling for the guy which then ended in you know what.
Now, let’t hear your thought below in the comments. I literally can’t wait to hear from you
Much love
Ramona
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6 Comments
Hi Ramona,
I’ve been reading your blog for quite a while now and I really enjoy and share your opinion on different topics.
I totally agree with you on this one!
I have always had guy friendships, that I enjoy (and sometimes even find less complicated than girl-friendships) and cherish very much.
I think it is important though, to be clear and open about your feelings and the feelings of your friend and to absolutely respect them. For me that inlcudes creating a little more space between my friend and myself when I realize that he wants “more” and I don’t. I also would want my (male) friends to be considerate about that.
I do like to really figure and try out, where that line is, but once it is clear for the both of us – just let us have coffee, watch movies and go for a drink for goodness sake!
As long as we’re aware of what we’re getting ourselves into – I don’t see a problem.
All in all I think it is his and my responsibility, to clarify where we stand. So to everyone that likes to be overprotected of their (unmarried) friends having coffee with the opposite sex – tell them your worries ONCE(!) and then let them take responsibility and make their own choices!
Sarah, this is sooo good! Thank you for sharing. Awareness is so important and taking responsibility. We need to that in every area of our life instead of blaming others 🙂
This is so interesting, and it doesn’t stop being complicated once you’re in a relationship – because then the question becomes about what’s appropriate.
But I think it is so valuable to have friends of the opposite sex. Equally being ‘just friends’ for a while can also be a great foundation for it to one day turn into more if that’s what both people want.
I personally just try and not spend too much time alone with guy friends and like you say – there is a line in how much I would share.
Thank you Britta for your words and sharing your thoughts on that
👍🏼
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